Dear Boo and Bubble,
Next Thursday is Christmas and I am so looking forward to
being with you on that morning – to see what Santa brings you and what other
gifts under the tree will be a joyous surprise.
This will actually be my 68th Christmas. I was only 20 days old for my first. Cumulatively, that’s a heck of a lot of
wrapping paper and tape and turkey and mistletoe!
I can honestly say that I’ve never had a bad Christmas. In my mind, many of them blend into the
general category of warm feelings with family and friends nearby. Some are memorable for the gifts received –
or perhaps those that almost didn’t make it.
(See December, 2012 – “Cha-Ching –
A Christmas Story,” and December, 2013 – “Santa is Real and His Name is George.”) Very rarely, though, is Christmas remembered
for a life-changing event, but I recall one that was so for me – December 25,
1971.
For seven years leading up to that day, I had been dating
the same young man. We first met in high
school during our Junior year. Our
relationship lasted through all four years of college, surviving the myriad of
bumps and bruises that length of time presents. It was a foregone conclusion,
certainly to me, that we would marry at some point. So convinced of it was I, that upon
graduating from Furman, I moved back into 3 Lakecrest Drive with Granddaddy
Schaefer and Mamaw Mary in order to save money from my teaching salary. He began law school in Columbia, SC.
Another year passed and we continued to see each other, but
there was no mention of marriage. I decided
to move into an apartment with some friends and changed my career from teaching
to selling real estate. Many weekends
found me driving I-26 from Greenville to Columbia to visit him. I rationalized that it was perfectly logical
that he would want to finish school and get established before asking me to
settle down with him.
As the holidays approached in 1971, my hopes couldn’t help
but turn once again to the prospect that this might be the time he would go
through the formalities of asking Granddaddy for my hand and my Christmas
present would finally be an engagement ring.
Christmas morning arrived and I drove over from my apartment
to 3 Lakecrest. Our tradition was to
open our stockings first then go to the kitchen table for a huge
breakfast. After that, we would
congregate in the living room and open presents from under the tree. The morning wore on with no contact from my
boyfriend. I tried to camouflage my
uneasy feelings and when someone mentioned him, I offered excuses that he had
lots of family to see and wanted to get that done before coming over.
Finally, through the window, I saw his car pull up in front
of the house. With some relief, I went
to the door to greet him. He came in
with a wrapped gift under his arm.
“Merry Christmas,” he said, as he handed me what was
obviously a thick book of some sort.
I opened it – Good
Housekeeping’s Guide to Cooking Everything.
“Wow, thank you,” I stammered. “How thoughtful. You know how I love to cook.” (Which was a
total lie.)
After being there for only a short while, he said that he
had to go and would call me later. I
showed him to the door. No amount of
stalwart poise could hide the blush of embarrassment creeping up my neck and
into my cheeks. It certainly didn’t
escape Granddaddy’s gaze. But, we went
on with opening presents and afterwards, preparing the finishing touches to our
Christmas meal.
That afternoon, Granddaddy looked at me and said, “Let’s go
take a walk. It’s nice outside. I feel the need for some fresh air.”
I grabbed a jacket and we headed out the front walk and up
Lakecrest towards its other end from our house.
After a few minutes of silence, Granddaddy spoke.
“Bethie, I know it’s none of my business, but I love you and
I just want to make an observation. I’m
a man and I know that when a man loves a woman, he wants to be with her. In fact, nothing can keep him from being with
her. That boy is not in love with you. If he were, he’d be here right now, or he’d
have you with him somewhere else. From
what I see, he puts everything and everybody in front of you.”
I stared at him, my eyes wide – not so much in surprise at
what he was saying, but in recognition of my knowing it, also.
“I’m not telling you what to do,” he continued, “but, it
just makes no sense to me that you would waste any more of your time.”
We made our way back to the house without saying anything
else. I was deep in consideration of his
words and he was trembling from having said them.
I drove back to my apartment, thankfully empty from
everybody’s absence due to the holiday.
I picked up the phone and called my boyfriend, telling him we needed to
talk and that he should come over as soon as possible. He did.
That day – December 25, 1971 – my relationship with him
ended. Little did I know then that
Granddaddy had given me the most amazing present of all – the courage to
honestly see the situation and do something about it.
Looking back over the previous 67 Christmases, this one has
to be very best ever for me because it set me on the miraculous path of life
that ultimately led me to Captain, which led me to your mom and Aunt Bee, ………
and now, to the two of you!
