Better Off Dumb

Dear Boo and Bubble,

During this past week, because of the tragic mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, Captain and I have had many discussions on the subject of the continental divide in this country regarding guns — their proliferation and increased capacities…the struggle to find any common ground on dealing with the issue…the tendency of us all to sequester in our corners of opinion, to paint a line in front and dare anyone to cross it. 

We had an interesting conversation with your Aunt Bee about these things, and she was very prescient in pointing out that our culture has become devoid in the skill of listening — or more precisely, that of actually hearing what is being said.  Your great, great, great, great grandfather, Joseph Cottrell opined about this very problem over 150 years ago.

“How true it is that we hold others responsible for what we ourselves think.  We saddle their words with our own meaning and condemn them for what they say, claiming our own justification, accordingly.”

 

In other words, instead of really listening, we use the words of others to formulate our own response.  I know that I do this all the time.  While someone is talking, I’m too busy thinking of what I’m going to say to even catch half of their words.

Sometimes I’m persuaded to believe that we’d be better off just being struck dumb.  That way, we’d have to be creative and resourceful in how we communicate with others…put a little effort into the exchange and observe the responses rather than relying on the laziness of words alone.  Your great granddaddy Schaefer shared a perfect example in the editorial he wrote for The Greenville News published on November 22,1992. 

Music: Universal Means of Communication. 

....... “A few years ago, my sister, Katherine and her husband, Bob (Poerschke), took a trip around the world.  He was on sabbatical—that euphemistic word conscripted by college professors to camouflage a paid vacation.  Bob’s parents were native Germans immigrating to the states at the turn of the (20^th) century.  Bob grew up bilingual.

This was before the break-up of the U.S.S.R* and the reunification of Germany.**  Bob had a cousin who lived in East Berlin whom he was anxious to visit.  He and Kat were given permission to go behind the Iron Curtain.*** 

On arriving at the relative’s apartment, he and Bob were so glad to see each other they became oblivious to their spouses.  Speaking animatedly in German, the two men moved into the cousin’s study, leaving the ladies in their wake.  Kat could not speak German. Bob’s in-law couldn’t speak English.

Kat noticed a violin case standing next to the piano and on the piano was a book of ‘etudes.  Using international charades sign language, she inquired if the lady played the violin.  Yes, was the answer.  Kat indicated by hand motion that she played the piano.  

So, for an hour or more, Kat and this German lady conversed in music while their husbands talked in German.  In both the living room and the study of that apartment in East Berlin behind a wall that was destined to come down like the one at Jericho, communication was taking place. 

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*Union of Soviet Socialist Republic - a former communist country in eastern Europe and northern Asia; established in 1922; including Russia and 14 other soviet socialist republics—Ukraine and Byelorussia and others—; officially dissolved 31 December 1991.

** Germany was divided after World War II into East and West.  East Germany became a communist state with loyalties to the U.S.S.R.  West Germany patterned itself after western democracies.  There was literally a wall separating the capital, Berlin, into two separate sections.

***This was the term used to describe the political divide between western democracies and soviet satellites.