The Truth About Steel

Dear Boo and Bubble,

Yesterday was Father’s Day and to celebrate, we took a road trip with our good friends John and Linda Godbold over to Abingdon, VA, to catch a matinee performance at The Barter Theater of “Steel Magnolias.”  (Captain thinks it’s a hoot that we would go to a play on Father’s Day and play golf on Mother’s…but, hey…that’s just how it is!)  Every time we go to The Barter, we come away completely enthralled with the caliber of talent and they never fail to entertain us.  This play was no exception.

Devised by the play’s author Robert Harling, the title has now become a moniker for women—particularly those of the Southern persuasion.  A “Steel Magnolia” is literally defined as a woman who possesses the strength of steel, yet the gentleness of a magnolia.  In a blog I posted on November 24, 2012, entitled “A Steel Magnolia in the Family,” I ascribed your great, great grandmother Lucile Tally with these attributes.  However, she was not the only one in your lineage to possess them.  You need only look to your mother and Aunt Bee to find other examples.

The stage production of this story takes place in a beauty parlor in a small Louisiana community. It revolves mainly around M’Lynn Eatenton, her daughter Shelby Eatenton-Latcherie, and four other women who form a diverse and incredible support network for each other that sustains them through the gamut of life’s experiences—both happy and sad.  Shelby suffers from diabetes, but is determined to lead a normal, productive life.  She marries a lawyer from Monroe, works as a nurse and hopes to have children.  Her doctors, however, have advised her not to get pregnant because of her medical condition…that her body will not survive the ordeal.  Ever strong-willed and locking horns with her mother over the matter, Shelby ignores the doctors and gives birth to a 3-month’s premature little boy.  

Over time, the doctors’ warning proves true.  Shelby’s kidneys begin to fail, and she is forced to begin dialysis.  M’Lynn volunteers to donate a kidney of her own, but in the end, nothing can save Shelby who slips into a coma and dies.  The “Steel Magnolias” rally around M’Lynn and sustain her during this tragic time.

Harling wrote the original story following the 1985 death of his own sister from diabetic complications after the birth of his namesake nephew, and the subsequent failure of a family member's donated kidney. He hoped that, by doing so, the nephew would come to understand the sacrifices made by his deceased mother…a woman he would never know.  Shortly afterwards, Harling converted the manuscript to a play and dubbed it with the iconic title.  In 1987, “Steel Magnolias” was produced off-Broadway to great acclaim.  The film version, starring Sally Field as M’Lynn and Julia Roberts as Shelby, came out in 1989.  

While waiting for the play to start yesterday, I combed through the playbill and found the Director’s Notes written by Katy Brown.  Her words really resonated with me and I wanted to share them with you.  I haven’t asked for permission, but I can’t imagine she would object…her message needs to get out to as many people as possible.

“In interviews, Robert Harling talks about what he noticed in the women that raised him.  He noticed they held together when the men around them broke down.  He noticed they were different when they were just with each other.  He said, “When I was a kid, the mystique of the beauty parlor was that guys were never allowed.  You didn’t know what went on in there, and they all came back different somehow.” He sensed that important changes were taking place in their private spaces together that helped them be strong.

That’s the way it is with steel, I’m learning. Turning iron into steel involves extreme heat to alloy the iron with carbon or other elements.  Once it combines with small amounts to other element(s), it becomes stronger and is prized for its ductility—its ability to bend without breaking—the quality that allows buildings and bridges to bend in the wind and stay upright.  One of the underpinnings of modern life as we know it, is caused by this combining of elements.  In other words, something that starts strong becomes so much stronger and more flexible when it opens its molecular structure to others.  The fire these women walk through and their willingness to open their hearts and let others in is the key to their strength and flexibility, too.  It’s something that Robert Harling knew about the women in his family and their friends.  It’s something that is true in so many of the strong women I know.  Steel, as it turns out, is more about us together than us standing alone.”