Speaking of Goats

Dear Boo and Bubble,

Speaking of goats…..when your great, granddaddy Schaefer was just a little boy, his Uncle Richard Skinner from Jacksonville decided that what his nephew needed more than anything was a goat.  And so, he boxed up a goat, took it to the train station and shipped it to Greenville.... unannounced.

When the four-legged pack of mischief arrived, the freight steward called your great, great grandmother Mattie to inform her that she had a crate waiting for her. 

“What is it?” she inquired.

“I can’t rightly say,” the steward answered, “but it’s shor ‘nuff alive….. and it come from Jacksonville.”

Smelling a Skinner rat, Mattie hitched a ride with her brother, Gene, down to the station where they found the goat in fine health and very ready to get out of his box.

Mattie was nothing if not a good sport and she decided to keep the goat for Schaefer.  Step-brother Frank Kendrick bought a halter with reins and made a little pull cart so that Schaefer could guide the goat around the neighborhood whenever he wanted.  Schaefer loved that goat.

But as goats do, he grew.  He ate everything in sight. His appetite proved too much for Mattie’s prized vegetable garden in the back yard.  The final straw came when he ingested half the laundry hanging on the line to dry. 

Mattie figured and figured on what to do with the goat.  She decided to send him back to Uncle Richard, unannounced of course.  Gene made a nice, new crate for him and, with some fierce resistance, they finally cajoled the goat into it.  They drove down to the train station, filled out a destination ticket, attached it to the crate and left the goat with the steward.

No sooner had Mattie returned home than the phone rang.

“Is this here Mrs. Bryant?” a voice queried on the other end of the line.

“Yes.”

“Well, this here’s the train station.  You got to come back down here and do somethin’ about that goat what you left.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yep.  We got a big problem with this here goat. You needs to come down here quick a’fore de train gits here. ”

“What’s the problem?”

“Well…..dat goat….dat goat dun et up where he’s g’wan and we don’t know where to send him.”