The Right Wrong Word - #4

Dear Boo and Bubble,

You are growing up in the age of casual acronyms.  FYI, OMG, LOL and BTW have become such standard replacements for the words they represent that I wouldn’t be surprised if Webster’s dictionary doesn’t include them at some point.  It’s not like acronyms are a new phenomenon.  The NAACP, AARP, and NCAA have been in the lexicon for years. But, growing up, there was only one that really mattered for any God-fearing, Bible- thumping Southern Baptist – and that was BTU.

The Baptist Training Union was the organization charged with training Church Members for Church Membership.  Its genesis came from scripture in II Timothy 2:15 - " Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."  As a child of First Baptist in Greenville, I observed that apparently the way the BTU went about achieving its charge was to have meetings.  If you ever wanted to be a five-star Baptist, you better attend them.

Every year, the work of the BTU culminated in a state convention where individual efforts of church chapters were recognized and attendees shared ideas about the best ways for fortifying God’s army in the battles looming ahead. Your triple-great Uncle Wade Bryant, at the time a professor at the Baptist Seminary in Richmond, was invited to be the keynote speaker for one such occasion and to present the annual awards.

He delivered a rip-roaring address that brought the congregation to its feet in gratitude for the message – definite fortification for the next year.  He then turned his attention to the list before him of those to be recognized. 

“Would Fannie Morgan please come up here and join me at the pulpit,” he said as he gazed out into the expectant faces of the packed sanctuary.

Up rose Fannie Morgan from a pew towards the back.  She was so large that, to Wade, it appeared she just kept on rising.  Those on the pew with her had to empty it to let her out as it was impossible for her to slide by them to the aisle.  She made her way to the front and with great heft negotiated the few steps up to take her place by Wade.

“It is a great pleasure for me,” Wade began, “to announce that Fannie has the biggest BUT in the state.”

There was a hushed response from the crowd……not the uproarious applause that Wade thought would erupt upon this proclamation.  He figured he needed to make it more profound.

“Not only is it the biggest, but the best!”

The uproar came ….. in the form of raucous laughter.  Fannie stood there red-faced as did Wade when he realized his transposition of the acronym had caused the whole embarrassment.  It took almost twenty minutes for things to calm down again. 

Yes, boys, acronyms are going to be a part of your conversation.  Just make sure you don’t scramble them.  You might find yourself in a bad situation like Uncle Wade.