One Question Too Many

Dear Boo and Bubble,

You have quite a lawyer legacy in your lineage, starting with great, great Uncle Gene, then great granddaddy Schaefer, then granddaddy Captain and now your father.  All the lawyer jokes notwithstanding, it is a very honorable profession upon which our justice system heavily depends. All in your family have distinguished themselves in their practice of law as partners in some very prestigious firms and as officers of the Bar.  But every now and then, they - like every lawyer - can find themselves in a moment where none of that matters.

Your great granddaddy Schaefer was hired to defend a company in a lawsuit where one of its employees claimed total disability due to an injury that occurred at work.  According to the claim, this man had hurt his back so badly that he could not so much as bend over to tie his own shoes without writhing in pain.  He could not walk or get up out of a chair or lay down on or rise up from a bed without assistance.  Taking a bath or engaging in everyday toiletry proved to be excruciating.  He had devolved into an invalid, relegated to dependence....his whole world reduced to the parameters of a wheelchair.

Truly a sad, sad story.  Yet Granddaddy's client didn't believe it and they sought to prove their case in court.  For months, Granddaddy gathered evidence for the trial which included depositions, or sworn statements, of all the people involved.  Among them was the man's wife, a demure woman with stoic features.  She answered Granddaddy's questions pretty predictably...she couldn't believe how much her husband suffered, how he bore little resemblance to the robust man she had married and had to depend on her for everything - he was a cripple, just a cripple.

The days leading up to the trial produced no settlement which is an agreement between the parties that finalizes the matter before going to court.  Granddaddy wasn't too sure how things might go.  He had prepared the best he could and knew that a positive result for his client depended on portraying the man as a malingerer, someone who pretends to be sick in order not to have to work. It wouldn't be easy.

The proceedings started and the lawyers for the other side began calling witnesses.  First came the man who described how the accident happened and the subsequent ordeal for himself.  Then some of his co-workers took the stand to back up his side of the story.  Finally, the wife was called.  To granddaddy's surprise, she didn't look anything like the woman he had deposed several months before.  The severe angles of her face now appeared plump with cheeks blushed of a rosy color.  As she stood to walk to the witness stand, he realized why....she was pregnant...very pregnant....probably seven or eight months so.

Granddaddy's spirits soared.  He abandoned the idea of not asking her any questions.  Looked like she now might be the linchpin to his case.

The opposing counsel finished with their questions.

"Do you have anything to ask the witness?" the judge directed to Granddaddy.

"Yes, your honor.  I do."

He turned to face the wife.

"I am glad to see you again," he began.  "It's been a few months since your deposition."

"Yes, sir," she responded.

"Now, let's go over a few of the facts that we know.  Your husband claims that he was injured in January two years ago, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you testified in your deposition that he can no longer do anything....can't walk, can't bathe, can't sit up or lie down; that he's in chronic pain all the time.  Is that right?"

"Yes, sir."

Granddaddy shuffled some papers in his file as if he were looking for something specific.

"Now, I don't want to be indelicate here, but I notice that you are with child."

"Yes, sir."

"And, do you mind telling me exactly how far along you are?"

"I'm almost eight month's pregnant," she answered simply.

At this point, Granddaddy paused, letting her answer sink in to those responsible for making a judgment in the case.  He probably should have stayed paused.....should have said that familiar "no further questions."  But, instead, he broke one of the cardinal rules in law - don't ask a question to which you do not know the answer.

He turned to her confidently, like a submarine about to torpedo an unsuspecting ship.

"Well, can you explain to me how you find yourself in this circumstance with your husband, who can't do anything anymore and claims to be totally disabled?"

Her cheeks reddened from the embarrassment of the question as she pondered how to respond.  She sat up a little straighter in the witness stand with a small signal of defiance.

"Mr. Lawyer, you of all people should know that there are some things a man will do even if it kills him."

No surprises here.....granddaddy lost the case.