But, Baby It's Cold Inside

Dear Boo and Bubble,

Man, it's cold!! Old Man Winter just sent a blast of frigid air so far South that we're even shivering here in Mt. Dora, Florida, where Captain and I will spend the next few months until there is somewhat of a thaw in the mountains. There is a chill in the little house that we've rented which brings back a fond memory of 3 Lakecrest many years ago. I say it's fond because Captain survived the experience ….....and didn't take his courting elsewhere.

I've told you before about Mamaw Mary's frugality (See "The One-Legged Dragon" - December 30, 2012). Both she and Granddaddy were products of the Great Depression and during that time, learned habits of thrift in all aspects of their lives. Her hawkish pursuit of bargains covered everything literally from soup to nuts. As one of her children, this could be very frustrating, especially when it came to fashion. Mamaw would drive out a tank of gas shopping for mimics of Villager sweaters or Gant shirts or Weejun loafers. In the scheme of things, though, these were small skirmishes compared to the raging war she had with Duke Power Company.

Our house was comfortably modest with four bedrooms, two baths, a living room, dining room and kitchen. There was no separate laundry room. The washer and dryer lined one of the kitchen walls along with the refrigerator. We didn't have air-conditioning. At night, in the hottest part of the summer, we opened up the windows and turned on the attic fan which circulated fresh, cooler air from outside throughout the house. There were two fireplaces, one in the living room and one in the kitchen, that shared a common chimney. In the winter, the kitchen always had a fire going because that was where we spent most of our time together as a family. The rest of the house stayed warm, though, with a traditional heating system.

Over time, as her children left 3 Lakecrest for good, Mamaw Mary executed all of her daily household activities in the kitchen, with the exception of sleeping and bathing. She cooked meals, did laundry, watched television, wrote letters, ironed and watched television all that 12 X 15-foot space. When winter came, Granddaddy built her a fire before leaving for work, making sure she had a good supply of kindling to keep it going all day.

In the mail one day in January, the utility bill came from Duke Power Company for the previous month's usage. Mamaw was appalled at how high it was and decided to take measures to reduce it significantly. That night, when Granddaddy came home, she shared her thoughts.

“Schaefer, I think it's ridiculous how much Duke Power charges us for our electricity and I'd like to do something about it.”

“What did you have in mind?” Granddaddy asked, a little hesitantly.

“Well, for starters, we can turn the thermostat down. We don't use any of the house except the kitchen during the day and at night, we're under blankets.”

“How far down?”

“Oh, I don't know. I was thinking around 50 degrees.”

Granddaddy took a little pause at this suggestion. “Don't you think that's a little extreme?”

“No, I don't. What's extreme is the bill Duke sent us for last month.”

“Okay, we'll try it and see,” Granddaddy agreed. “We can always turn the thermostat up. Anything else?”

“Yes.......I'd like you to have somebody make us some plastic to put up here in the kitchen to fit over the slatted doors going into the dining room. I think a lot of heat from the fire flows through the slats and out of here.”

“Well, that makes sense. I'm sure I can find somebody to do that.”

Granddaddy took out a tape and measured the space for the door. Within a few days, he had found someone to make the plastic sheet complete with a pattern of grommets to attach to the door frame for easy removal when the weather warmed up.

And thus, Mamaw's winter war against Duke Power began with Granddaddy as a skeptical soldier leaping out of bed every morning to build the fire in the kitchen and scurrying quickly in and out of the shower to dress before freezing.

The war was in full swing by the time I met Captain. We became engaged over Thanksgiving in 1973. I let go of my apartment and moved back to 3 Lakecrest in order to save some money before our wedding. At the beginning of 1974, Captain was in Gaffney starting his law practice.

In early February, a bitter cold snap hit Greenville with sustained temperatures hoovering around freezing. Having derived some success on her power bills, Mamaw's resolve to continue her cost-cutting measures hardened. Granddaddy and I had the luxury of leaving the house to go to work. Mamaw resolutely remained in the kitchen, happy as a clam, all day long.

Captain arrived on Friday evening to spend the weekend after making the drive from Gaffney. He came in the back door to the warmth of the kitchen with the smells of a home-cooked meal to greet him. We visited during dinner, then probably played some cards until it came time to go to bed.

“I have you set up in the guest room on the left, John,” Mamaw said. “There's an electric blanket on the bed and there are fresh towels in the bathroom at the end of the hall. I hope you'll be comfortable.”

“I know I will, Mary, thank you.”

Captain left the kitchen and made his way to the bedroom. As he changed into his pajamas, I'm sure he noticed the chill in the air, but he didn't say anything. He brushed his teeth and piled into bed under the cover of the electric blanket.

Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, Captain had to get up to go to the bathroom. He pulled the covers back and put his feet on the hardwood floor. It was so cold, they all but stuck. As he made his way into the bathroom, he swore he could see his breath!

He looked at the toilet and thought to himself - “I wonder if it will flush?”

His rousing had awakened Granddaddy who, upon getting out of bed, had the same reaction when his feet hit the floor.

“Good Lord, Mary! This house is an icebox!” he whispered loud enough to awaken her.

He went out into the hall and saw Captain retreating back into his bedroom.

“I'm so sorry, John. I'll turn the heat up right now.”

“Don't worry, Schaefer. I just hope you're not trying to run me off!”