Friday, January 15, 2016

It Pays To Be A Good Looking Man



Dear Boo and Bubble,

The recollections of Great Granddaddy Schaefer’s bout with lung cancer that I last wrote about reminded me of at least one humorous occasion during that time……..although when it happened, I didn’t think it was so funny.

Even as he made progress from the depths of his illness, Granddaddy still had to be in the hospital because of his overall weakness.  His condition required assistance for the most basic functions.  As much as possible, your Uncle Gene and I spelled each other sitting with him and making sure his needs were met.  Because of his work, Gene would come to the hospital mid-afternoon.  I took most morning shifts.

Most of the time everything went fine and I could manage.   Every now and then, though, something happened that required help from the nursing staff.  One particular day, right after lunch and just before Uncle Gene was to arrive, Granddaddy alerted me that he had to go to the bathroom.  I tried to get him up and to the toilet, but was too late.  All of the medications and chemo-therapy had wreaked havoc with his system and he just couldn’t help it.  

I told him to lay still and I’d go down to the nurse’s station to get somebody, which I promptly did.  When I registered the situation with the nurse behind the desk, she told me she’d send someone in to take care of it.  I returned to the room…….and waited.  When nothing happened, I pushed the patient buzzer at Granddaddy’s bed.

“Yes?” a voice crackled over the intercom.

“We need some help in Mr. Kendrick’s room.  He’s had an accident in the bed and I can’t clean him up.”

“We know,” came a response that I thought rather cold.  “We’ll have someone there shortly.”

Again, we waited.  Nothing.

I proceeded to march down the hall to the station again, all in a frump.  Nobody was there.  I roamed the hall looking for anybody I could find and finally lassoed some poor unsuspecting nurse’s aide leaving another patient’s room.  Never letting go of her elbow, I funneled her into Granddaddy’s room.  She was quite mortified and immediately went to work cleaning him and his bed. 
 
Shortly after that, I knew that Uncle Gene had appeared because I could hear his voice barreling down the hall.

“Hey, how you doin’?” he said to somebody. “Are you having a good day?”  “Wonderful!”

His footsteps drew new and he flung the door open, handsome face and broad, toothy smile on display.  

“How’s it goin’ in here?” he asked.  “Dad, I brought you a sandwich from Vince Perone’s.  Figured you’re probably ready for something more substantial than hospital food.”

Granddaddy’s eyes lit up and he laughed loudly.

I hopped up and couldn’t wait to tell Gene what we had just been through.  But……..before I could even open my mouth, a nurse poked her head in the door.

“Does Mr. Kendrick need anything?”

“Not now!” I huffed.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure.” And she blithely left.

As I started once again to report the horrible episode, there was a knock on the door.
 
“Yes?”

“I’m just checking on Mr. Kendrick,” another nurse nuzzled her way into the room.  “We don't want him uncomfortable.”  

She had the audacity to come in and fluff his pillow and while she did so, ANOTHER nurse stuck her head in to say some other blathering thing about Granddaddy’s care.

It took me a minute or two to figure it out.  While Granddaddy was totally eating up all the attention and Gene seemed oblivious, it became utterly apparent to me that the nurses were there to flirt with my good looking brother!

I don’t remember for sure, but I think I left ….. hopefully not in a snit, but probably…..more than likely….. the NERVE of those nurses…..well…..I guess……I can sort of see their point......and, I knew that.....no matter how nice I might be to them.....I would never get the same treatment.

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