Woman of the Night?

Dear Boo and Bubble,

Last night, Captain reminded me of a something that happened a long time ago, back in the 1980’s when he served in the S.C. Legislature as the representative of House District 30.  I had totally forgotten about it, but couldn’t wait to share it with you because it was one of the funniest moments in my life and truly one of those situations that you couldn’t think up - even in the wildest of imaginations.

At the time your mom was in elementary school and Aunt Bee in kindergarten – very much like the two of you now.  We were living in Gaffney and, during the legislative session, Captain would have to drive to Columbia to spend three days a week.  In those days, lobbyists (the people who represent various interest groups and are responsible for conveying the concerns of the group to elected officials in order to influence legislation) pretty much had a free reign as to their interactions with legislators, all made copasetic by a rather loose set of self-regulatory laws of disclosure.  Almost every evening while in session, there would be some social event or another hosted either by a single lobbying firm or by an association of some sort like the Automobile Dealers Association or the Truckers Association or the Lumberman’s Association. Gaffney was just far enough away to make it impossible for me to join Captain for any of these occasions unless I could make overnight arrangements for your mom and Aunt Bee.  

Finally, the opportunity came.  The South Carolina Association of Optometry announced their annual legislative symposium and cocktail party.  Captain learned that two Gaffney optometrists and their wives would be attending and he asked if they would give me a ride home that night should he be able to find me a way to Columbia.  They were agreeable.

As luck would have it, a very close friend, Jeanne Husman, needed to drive to Columbia for an afternoon meeting at the University of South Carolina.  The timing was perfect.  After lining up a neighbor to bring your mom and Aunt Bee home from school, I coordinated with a babysitter to be there when they arrived.   About 1:00 PM, Jeanne picked me up in her blue van.  Since I wasn’t spending the night, I didn’t have a suitcase.  I carried my purse, a makeup kit, my high heels and a hot purple cocktail dress on a hanger slung over my shoulder.  For the trip down, I wore some comfortable shorts and a tank top with open-toed espadrilles – a type of sandal with a high cork heel in fashion then.

Jeanne and I had a wonderful ride down.  We talked and laughed non-stop.  I was excited about getting away if only for an afternoon and evening to be with Captain in his new environment in Columbia.  The trip flew by and, before we knew it, Jeanne pulled the van up to the curb in front of the Heart of Columbia motel – right across the street from the state capitol building on Hugee Street – where Captain stayed during the week.  Trust me, there were much nicer options for legislators, but Captain chose the Heart of Columbia because it was cheap enough to be covered by the per diem he received for his expenses.  The lobby of the motel looked out through a huge picture window onto the street and the male receptionist could see quite clearly anything that might be going on outside.

I hopped out of the front passenger seat of the van and pulled open the sliding door on the side to retrieve my dress, shoes and makeup kit.  Thanking Jeanne profusely, I closed the door and she sped away.  I proceeded to make my way into the lobby and approached the desk.

“Hi,” I said enthusiastically to the man sitting there. “I’m Mrs. Tally and I would like a key to his room.”

Without even looking up at me, he answered drolly – “Sure lady, that’s what they all say.”

His comment stunned me so much, I’m sure my mouth totally dropped open.  

“What are you talking about?  I AM Mrs. Tally!  Really.......I am.”

I’m thinking…….look at me.  Do I look like a hooker?  I mean……I don’t know much about such things, but look at me……here in my shorts and espadrilles with a party dress on a hanger and high heels threaded through my fingers…….

At which point, I dropped everything on the counter and fumbled through my purse to find my wallet so that I could show him my copy of our family photo for the Limestone Presbyterian Church directory.

“See,” I said, “that’s Mr. Tally and that’s me and those are our two daughters, Mary Kathleen and Lyn.”

The chagrin slowly registered on his face as the realization set in that I was, in fact, who I said I was.

“I am so sorry,” he sputtered.  “Mr. Tally didn’t mention that you would be coming in today.  I am really so sorry.”

I laughed out loud then at the whole incongruity of the scene – how he, looking through the plate glass window out onto the street had seen this van pull up and a woman get out, gathering her stuff for the evening and waltzing into the lobby to announce who she was.  And conversely, the naïve wife on the outside going through the innocent motions of coming to join my husband.

“I truly am sorry,” he reiterated.

“Don’t be,” I responded. “Actually…….I should thank you.  Yes, thank you for protecting my husband from the likes of me!”

This finally evoked a smile from him.  Over the next couple of years, he and I became best buddies!