The Perfect Bow

Dear Boo and Bubble,

Yesterday, Captain and I were delivering Meals on Wheels, which we do on every Thursday. We have a routine utilizing two plastic containers. Captain takes a meal in one of the containers into the house of a recipient on our route while I stay at the car to fill the other containers so it’s ready for the next delivery. Everybody we serve right now is a female…it’s not always so, but that’s the mix at the present time.

Since Captain actually delivers the meals, he gets to know everybody. They never see me, nor I them. Most of the time, he’s back to the car almost before I’ve finished up my chore. But yesterday, when we stopped at the home of Mrs. Annie Heaton, he was gone so long I began to worry that something bad had gone wrong inside. I got out of the car and went to find out what was going on.

Mrs. Heaton saw me through the transparent storm door as I made my way up the steps to her front stoop. Captain explained who I was, and she insisted that I come inside. Turns out the two of them were talking about her exploration of the family’s ancestry…and she wanted to share with him a story. Seems that her husband’s grandfather owned a bunch of wagons that he rented out so that people could get their goods to market. He kept a crew of drivers available for hire as well. They lived in his boarding house and, other than paying a pittance in rent, the only requirement he had of them was to attend church on Sunday. 

Apparently, some young ladies also boarded at the house and one of their favorite pastimes was to sneak into the men’s rooms and stitch the tops of their Sunday socks closed. When it came time to dress for church, inevitably this prank would create such havoc they would be late for services.

Hearing this tale reminded me of a similar joke played on your great granddaddy Schaefer by his first cousin Carolyn Madden (daughter of his Aunt Mittie Bryant Arnold—as in Mittie, Mattie, Ressie, Jessie, Annie Mae, Wade, Gene and Jamie) when he married Mamaw Mary. The wedding was supposed to be in Houston Texas in 1942, but World War II broke out and granddaddy was called up for service in the Navy. He had to report to the 90-Day Wonder School in Chicago, IL, for training.

This upended all of the wedding plans. Mamaw and her mother, Eva, had to arrange to ride the train from Houston to Chicago. Those in the wedding party who could get there had to figure out their own transportation. Carolyn lived in Evanston, a suburb of Chicago, and she willingly helped coordinate all the loose ends so that the wedding could take place in the chapel on the campus of Northwestern University. Included in those ends was making sure that Granddaddy’s suitcase was packed for the honeymoon…which was only going to be a trip to the apartment where Mamaw and Granddaddy would live while he was stationed in Chicago.

That night…after the wedding and when the festivities wound down…the newlyweds found themselves alone in their apartment. Mamaw went into the bathroom to change into her bride’s negligee. Granddaddy opened his suitcase to pull out his pajamas. To his surprise, a big red bow covered the fly of the pants…and it was sewn shut with thread!

Boys…I can’t venture a guess as to how dedicated the men at the boarding house were in rectifying their sock situation so that they could get to church on time. But I can guarantee you Granddaddy Schaefer got rid of that bow in record time.