It Wasn't Supposed To Be There

Dear Boo and Bubble,

It took your great, great, great grandmother Mattie six tries to pass the driver’s license test.  Faithfully, Granddaddy Schaefer drove her out to the Highway Department every time in the mobile monster.  That part was pretense.  Heaven help that they should know she had driven all over town illegally.  Her Achilles heel proved to be parallel parking.  That was no surprise what with the car being such a tank.  Finally, she either figured it out or happened to get an examiner that she had before who felt sorry for her.  No matter….Mattie secured that precious piece of paper and was now off and running.

She loved everything about her new-found freedom, everything about her car (now that she knew Neutral was intended to do nothing), everything, that is, except going in reverse - which made for quite a predicament anytime she wanted to leave 3 Lakecrest.  Coming into the driveway and down to her apartment was elementary.  Not so in the opposite. 

The house sat on a corner lot that sloped downhill to a juncture with Lotus Court.  The incline was steep enough to allow for a half basement on the lower side of the house with enough space for Mattie’s apartment, some storage and a garage for one car. The driveway spilled into Lakecrest on the high side. In order to create enough space to maneuver the car into the garage in the rear, almost all of the back yard had to be paved down to the lower end of the house.  A healthy thicket of woods extended from there to Lotus Court, but only a small sliver separated us from our neighbor’s lot behind. 

The length and contour of the drive, coupled with her aversion to reverse, made for a real dilemma for Mattie.  It was way too long, curvy and uphill to go out backwards. Not to be deterred, however, she developed a strategy for overcoming the problem.

Granddaddy Schaefer had installed a basketball goal in the back just off of the pavement about halfway up the drive.  Mattie figured out that if she drove the mobile monster in reverse until she hit the goalpost, she could turn the steering wheel sharply to the left and that would give her enough room to power the car up the hill and out of the driveway onto the street going forward.

We’d be sitting in the kitchen at the picnic table and could hear her getting in the car.  The engine would start and then accelerate.  Seconds later there came a WHAP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP as her rear bumper crashed into the post causing it to reverberate wildly.  The tactic totally worked for her even if not for the mobile monster or the goal post.

One weekend in the fall, Mamaw, Granddaddy and great Uncle Gene traveled to Lexington, VA, to watch your great Uncle Bryant play in a football game at Washington and Lee University.  I couldn’t go because my Civic Ballet troupe was performing in Asheville, NC, at a dance festival.  Mattie remained at home by herself. 

I returned on Sunday afternoon before everybody else.  A short while afterward, Mattie came up the steps from the basement and into the kitchen where I was watching television.  She was very sheepish, not her usual assured self.

“What’s the matter?”  I asked.  “You don’t look right.”

“Well……” she hesitated.  “I ran into your mother’s Volkswagen.” 

“What?” I exclaimed.  “You’re kidding!”

I ran to the kitchen window and looked out into the back yard.  Mother’s Volkswagen bug sat crunched against the goal post, its driver’s side door smashed in like an accordion.  Usually, she parked the car on the street in front of the house, but didn’t want to leave it there over the weekend.  She decided to “hide” it in the back since we were all leaving town. 

I turned to Mattie, totally perplexed.  “Didn’t you SEE it?”

“Yes…….but…”

“But, what?”

“But, it WASN’T supposed to be there,” she adamantly retorted.  

Dumbfounding as the explanation seemed to me, it made perfect sense to her.  I guess Aesop might put it this way – Don’t change your habit just because someone else does!